Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Expendables (1)

This movie makes me so sad. As you may already know, I love action flicks, mainly because I grew up watching a lot of them and that means I've been a long time fan of every person in this film.

Until now.

I still don't really get the story but some old guys get hired to kill some drug type thing that is destroying an island. So they go and kill people. End.

I just. Am upset. Arnold Schwarzenegger was in this movie for about 10 seconds and it meant nothing. Bruce Willis was the only good part of this movie and he had about 2 minutes of screen time. Mickey Rourke's character was...I still don't know what. A knife throwing tattoo artist that was around for about 10 seconds but delivered the plot twisting line.

I don't think Sylvester Stallone acted once. Jason Statham was better but still a let down. Jet Li was a joke, he had about 6 lines of dialogue and 80% of those were, in my opinion, racist. Any hint of acting was lost in the shaky, far to close up close ups action scenes and unnecessary amount of fire everywhere. And knives. What's with all the knife sht? And them trying to add some humour = EPIC FAIL. The only time I laughed was at one sentence uttered by Bruce Willis near the beginning of the film.

Writing was awful. There were so many characters with little spurts of personal tale that gave me, the viewer, absolutely nothing except confuse me. Their attempt at adding in love, sympathy and concern can be summed up in two words: face palm.

I was really looking forward to this film. I wasn't expecting greatness. I was looking for a good-bad action flick with an awful story but okay characters and some great action. I got the awful story bit but nothing else.

It was honestly a really tough movie to watch the whole way through. Watch it if you have already watched every other movie out there. Then eat a Popsicle. Then sleep on it. Then watch it.

End.

1/5

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