Monday, April 25, 2011
Everyone Says I Love You (1.5)
(Watch a Clip)
The 1996 Woody Allen musical starring himself, Goldie Hawn and Julia Roberts (among others).
"A New York girl sets her father up with a beautiful woman in a shaky marriage while her half sister gets engaged." (imdb)
The only thing I seem to dislike more than musicals are Woody Allen movies. I really wanted to give this one a shot though, especially since the cover said it was easily in the top ten movies of that year and, well, because there is this whole thing with Woody Allen being awesome that I have yet to understand.
I still don't understand.
The thing that would've made this movie bearable would be if Woody Allen wasn't in it at all, but then he would still have wrote and directed it so it still wouldn't have created interest. Possibly if he just directed it...maybe then. Just maybe I wouldn't have rolled my eyes or sat there complaining to my roommate that I had yet another 45 minutes of movie to go.
The dialogue just rambles on and on and nothing funny, witty, emotional or slightly important ever happens. Don't get me wrong, I love a good conversational film. I happen to love movies where two actors sit across from each other and just discuss life and random, non-inspirational events (example, Before Sunrise)...but there needs to be good characters. And some meaning there; some layers. I need more than nervous, almost seemingly irrational banter and whining that has no context to my life seeing how the characters have no depth and therefore seem completely unrealistic. Just sayin'...
I'm sure a few Woody Allen fans are sweating in anger at me right now but I really did try. I thought the worst thing about the movie would be the music but in all honesty, if the music and dancing hadn't of been there, I probably would've turned the movie off before the half way mark. The music was not very good...I mean, it was kinda funny and slightly cute but seemed ridiculous for the sake of being ridiculous. Lame.
The cast was amazing though: Edward Norton, Drew Barrymore, Goldie Hawn, Julia Roberts, Tim Roth, Natalie Portman, etc...and they all tried. There was more than one scene that I could feel the other actors trying so hard to feed off of and help move the scene along while Woody just crushed all hopes of recovery. Hard to watch really...
Nothing happens. I mean, more happens in this movie than some of the other Woody Allen I've seen, but ultimately by the time the credits roll you just feel hopeless and want the last 2 hours of your life back.
If you like Woody Allen I'm sure you'll like this. As a musical and, for me, as a film itself...it's stinky.
(enter joke about everyone DOESN'T say I love you)